Friend

Out of all the relationships that are available in this life, perhaps the most rewarding and precious is a friend. I’ve lived a long time now and I have very few friends. Lots of acquaintances, lots of people I respect and admire and associates of all kinds but very few friends. I had a wonderful friend before I even knew the word’s true meaning. Let me give you some idea of what I’m talking about.

His name was Sammy – Sammy Cobb. I don’t remember how we met. I just remember how wonderful it was to have a friend. I was six or seven years old and Sammy was about the same age. My family was living in Boley, Oklahoma. Historically, Boley was one of the few all Black towns in Oklahoma. My mother grew up there. Her dad we called “Big Poppa”. He was a very successful businessman and the governor of Oklahoma appointed him to be the Superintendent of the State Training School for Negro Boys. We were there because my dad accepted the position of Superintendent of Boley schools.

My mom, dad, brother and I lived on a small farm on the outskirts of Boley. Sammy lived about a mile or so down the road from our house. We never wanted to be apart – not even for a moment. If Sammy came to my house to play, we would have fun together until the sun began to set. We were so inseparable that when it came time for Sammy to go home I would ask my mother if it was okay to walk “piece away” home to Sammy’s house. She would almost always say yes and that worked just fine except we would get so engrossed in talking with each other that all of a sudden we would both be at Sammy’s house. Before going in his house Sammy would call to this mother and ask if he could walk “piece away” home with me. She would often say yes and the two of us would walk back and forth until one of our mothers would call a halt to it and we would have to say goodbye until another day. 

One day, my father bought me a kite. I had never even seen one before. I was thrilled to go out in a field and fly that kite. It took all I could do to wait for Sammy to come over so I could show him my kite. When he saw it, we giggled and laughed until we fell on the ground. We would take turns flying the kite and it was just a wonderful fun time.

Sammy finally had to go home and I went into my house feeling awful because Sammy didn’t have a kite and it was unlikely that his parents could afford to buy one. Sammy and I both knew that, but Sammy never was envious or jealous of me and my kite. He was just happy for me.

Later that day, my father asked why I was dejected, and I told him that my friend Sammy didn’t have a kite. He immediately said, “Well, why don’t you make one for him?” I was overjoyed. I never thought that I could make a kite! We got some newspapers and a couple of straight sticks from the yard. We made a kind of cross with the sticks and my dad showed me how to connect them together using a little twine. My mother helped us use flour to make a paste and we glued the newspapers together, ran some twine across the ends of the cross, glued the newspaper to the twine and we had the makings of a kite. I couldn’t sleep that night in anticipation of the first flight of Sammy’s kite. It would be a test flight because I wanted to surprise Sammy with a working kite.

The first flight was a terrible failure. His kite was very unstable. My dad said that it just needed a tail. My mother gave us some scraps of cloth that we tied together and made a long tail for the kite. It flew great after that, and then I just had to wait for Sammy to come over. It seemed like he would never come! I went outside and just sat there, looking down the road to try and see him as he approached. Finally, during the middle of the afternoon, I saw Sammy.

I couldn’t wait! I ran to meet him, shouting, “Sammy! Sammy! Come quickly! I want to show you your new kite!” Together, we ran to my house. My dad had anticipated this and was waiting for us, holding both kites. When I gave Sammy his kite we hugged each other and cried. 

We ran to the center of the field and first got Sammy’s kite in the air. It was a beautiful sight! We almost crashed it as we sank to the ground with tears of joy on our faces. Sammy had a kite! Somehow, Sammy’s kite was far more important to me than my own. We spent many hours flying our kites and laughing with joy.

That turned out to be one of the most memorable experiences of my childhood and, to this day, I still get emotional just remembering the unselfish, unconditional and immeasurable love Sammy and I shared. Friendships like that one with Sammy are divine. It set the stage for my learning what a friend was and almost all of my relationships of any kind that I experienced for the rest of my life in some ways were measured against my love for Sammy. Sammy was truly my friend.